Thursday, April 30, 2009

I knew it!

Didn't I tell you all along that we have no chance in hell to do better than last time round. But now I am changing my prediction. We will be last placed in this IPL. Haha! Lovely. What do you expect from a team that's as confused as a...well... uh... I can't think of anything as confused as our team, but I think you get the point. We knew who all are playing and detailed strategies were worked out for every opposition player. As for our batting, we knew exactly how to approach our inning. Play your strokes in the first 6, get to about 50-1. Then Lordie guides the middle order through. Keep wickets till the 15th. And then go hammer and tongs. Brilliant strategy coachie. But for one small problem. What happens if we are 20-3 off 8. We hadn't planned for that. So, one player walks in and starts auditioning for a test match role. When he gets out, the next one walks in and wallops a six off the first ball. And then, predictably gets out. To each his own, that seemed to be the mantra. Thanks to Little John and co. we managed to get to 3 figures. Between the innings, while coachie was deep in his thoughts on how to philosophise our beautiful batting display, his deputy and the skipper gave their pep talks. They were seen in animated discussions with our fast bowling attack comprising India's best fast bowler, a good India prospect and a former India fast bowler who will remain a former India fast bowler for the rest of his career. All strategies were put to rest while on the field and we were finished.

Our owner, Badshah Dildo didn't make an appearance after the match. There was a bit of stillness about things. Nobody talked too much. Lordie didn't gloat at all, possibly because of his own miserable score. The setting was right for him to play a magical inning and show Dildo what he's all about. The Coach was shitting bricks, I think. You can't tell much from his exterior, but it's the Coach who is running the show now and he has to take the flak. He had told Dildo that if Dildo wants the IPL, he's got to let him run it his way. Otherwise, he can't guarantee the IPL. But now, he's got everything he wanted. He has his own entourage, most of whom do nothing but lob balls during fielding practice. Dildo's paying for everything. He's got his own captain. He has his team. Now all that's required is for us to win a match or two. I think we have a chance against the Bubblies from land of 5 rivers. But even then, if Prince of Patiala gets going, we are finished.

Dildo's cold shoulder's going to hurt for a long time. I am waiting to see if he hangs around in SA after we lose the first 3 matches.

We are now back in our hotel rooms. Just generally chilling out. And planning for the exciting night ahead.

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